My Stims

I wrote a post a while ago about why I enjoy chewing. At the time that was my main stim. I do still chew my Chewigem button necklace, but my stims have evolved and changed since then. Either that or I'm just more aware of the things I do these days - maybe a bit of both. Because of that and because almost anything can be a stim I thought I'd go through a few more of the stims that I do.

Just as a reminder, stimming is short for self-stimulatory behaviour and the definition is a repetitive behaviour that appears to have no reason or purpose, although it helps autistics to regulate and ground themselves when they're overwhelmed or emotional.

Finger Stim (No idea what to actually call it!)
One of my more common stims that I've been doing for a while is running my thumb along the inside of my fingers on my right hand. I tend to do that when I'm talking to somebody as I'm often anxious during conversation. It's not usually something that I do consciously (which is the same for most of my stims) but I do notice myself doing it, and I think it's because it's quite a subtle thing to do, especially if I can put my hands in my pocket or something. I find that a lot of my stims are either subtle or "socially acceptable" which helps to avoid detection and awkward comments and so on. I also do it sometimes when I'm concentrating - in fact, I'm doing it now while I write this post. I tried to make gifs of my stims to demonstrate but I couldn't get it to work, so I'll just post a picture of each to help give you an idea. (Let me also apologise for my onesie and messy hair in the pictures. It was a busy day with the kids in self isolation, so I didn't get the chance to have a shower and get dressed until later on!)

[Image description: My hand during the above stim. In the image my fingers are held together and my thumb is reaching down to my little finger. While doing this stim I rub my thumb nail up along my fingers, past my index finger and back down again repeatedly.]

Flapping

It's only recently that I actually realised I'm a hand flapper. Turns out I've been doing it subconsciously for ages, but because the way I do it down by my side and with just 1 hand is very subtle compared to the traditional autistic hand flap it seems to have slipped under even my own radar. It wasn't until just a few days ago when I was tidying up in the kids' play room that I noticed myself doing it. Something else I learned not long ago about flapping is that there are actually different kinds of flap. Obviously there's my own subtle versions like this, and the classic flap where you hold your hands in front of you and flap them up and down with your arms. But it's also classed as flapping if you do it with just a wrist flicking motion similar to how you would shake water off your hands after washing them. It sounds obviously, but I guess it's just one of those things that you don't always register. It wasn't until I realised a flicking motion is also flapping that I realised what I do is flapping. I guess it shows what a difference subtlety can make.

[Image description: My hand down by my side while flapping.]

Leg Swaying/Jigging

This is probably the ultimate in subtle stims because even though it's often noticeable (I used to get told off for doing it by the girl I sat next to at one of my old jobs), it's something that almost everyone does at some point so it doesn't get questioned. I haven't posted a picture because all it's going to show is my leg, but while sitting with my foot on the ground I will either jig my leg up and down or sway it from side to side. I think I do both about equally. It's jigging up and down that I got told off for because we worked upstairs on quite a wobbly wooden floor.

Rocking

This is a classic autistic stim. Typically it's done when sat down and by rocking your upper body either forwards and backwards or from side to side. I also do a standing up variation, usually while I'm waiting in a queue for example, where I shift my balance from one leg to the other and back again to rock myself from side to side. Other than that, the times I've found myself rocking most were when my son was a baby and I used to do the night feeds. I was half asleep and I never used to realise I was rocking until my wife told me to stop it. It was probably just a thing my body did to try to keep me awake long enough to get through the feed until I could go back to sleep. I've also found myself rocking while sat with my kids reading stories or playing with Lego etc. Again, no point posting a picture because it's self explanatory and wouldn't show much.

Bouncing

The last one I'm going to mention is bouncing on my toes, which comes from when my kids were babies. I used to do it while holding them to bounce them to sleep or just settle them down and it's just carried on from there. I only do it at home and it's when I'm waiting for something like my tea to brew. When I'm bouncing I tend to wander around as well in bouncy steps. I try to keep some sort of rhythm to it but I think I usually fail, but it keeps me occupied.

[Image description: Me bouncing on my toes around my dining room. One foot is completely off the ground while the other has just the heel off the ground. I keep my heels in the air the whole time I'm bouncing.]

These are just a few examples. This list is by no means exhaustive for either me or autistics in general and it's always best to remember that everybody stims in one way or another. It's just that autistics usually stim differently, whether that's more noticeably, more often and so on. Don't forget to please click Subscribe at the top of the page and follow me on social media. I'm @DepictDave on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and you can buy me a coffee at my Ko-Fi account here.

5 Gifts For Autistics

Christmas is only 68 sleeps away and whenever people ask me what I want for Christmas or birthdays I've never known what I wanted, but since being diagnosed autistic I've come to realise that there are quite a few different things that I could do with. This could be either because it's beneficial, or just because I like it. So here's a list of a few ideas that you could buy for the autistic in your life. Please also be aware that this post contains Amazon Associate links, which means that if you purchase the items via the links I will earn a small commission. The exception to this is the very first link, which is to Chewigem, not Amazon, so it's not part of any affiliate program.

Chew Toys
Last Christmas is where I really started to realise that I had a problem with chewing. When I say "problem" I only mean in the sense that because I'd never had a chew toy at that point I resorted to biting my fingers and left them in a pretty bad state. At the time I didn't know what was available for a chewing need like mine, so I asked in a Facebook group and people suggested a few different places. The one I ended up going with was Chewigem who sell a whole variety of chew toys as well as other things like noise cancelling ear plugs for example. I'll leave the link here for the button necklace I've got from them, but obviously it's best to have a look at their full range and see what you/the person your buying for might prefer. One bit of advice to bear in mind is that each chewable item they sell shows the durability, flexibility and firmness of the item you're looking at. You'll need to check these to make sure you get a chewer that's right for you/them. I didn't know about this when I ordered my first chewer and got one that I chewed through pretty quickly because I'm a heavier chewer than I realised.

[Image description: My button necklace chew toy. It's circular and grey with a scaly pattern. The cord is black with a clasp in the middle and wrapped around in a circle-shape. The cord is tied to the chew toy through a small hole near the edge. The whole thing is sat on a wooden table.]

Fidget Toys
Some of Chewigem's items do cross over into the fidget category, but when I say fidget toys I mean things like fidget spinners, fidget cubes, stress balls, squishy putty and a whole lot more. One of my mutuals on Twitter posted a short video of her playing with some Thinking Putty which caught my eye as it looks great to play with. Another mutual uploaded a link to an Infinity Cube which also looks fun. There's a picture down below, and the link to the pictured Infinity Cube is here.

[Image description: A black Infinity Cube on a white background. The cube resembles a 4x4 Rubik's Cube and all the segments are joined by small hinges so that it can be unfolded, separated and played with.]

Sensory Aids

Depending on the needs or preferences of the autistic person you're buying for they may need any of a number of items to help with their sensory needs, and a lot of them fall within a reasonable gifting price range. The most common things are sunglasses and sound cancelling headphones but autistics can have a whole host of sensory issues so it's worth speaking to the person you're buying for if you're not sure what sensory preferences they have. It could be something as simple as loose fitting clothing for example.

[Image description: Sunglasses shown from the front on a plain background. The frames are thick and black, and the lenses are tinted blue.]

Weighted Blanket

This one tends to be quite expensive, but they can be quite helpful to a lot of people, not just autistics. My weighted blanket definitely helps me sleep, which is something I need since I work late and get up early with the kids. In fact, ever since my wife bought me it as an early birthday present a few months ago I've slept under it every night instead of our duvet. She got me it in the middle of summer when it's been quite warm, but I'm sure I'll use it a bit more in winter when I could do with a blanket while I work or while I play video games. My wife got me it quite cheap (we're talking under £30, as opposed to the usual hundreds) from a shop on Amazon that was quite new so they obviously wanted to get their foot in the door and some good ratings on the page. It's gone up in price since then as the shop gained more traction, but you can find my specific blanket here.

[Image description: My weighted blanket laid out neatly across my bed. It's a king-size bed with stripy, flowery bedding in grey and white. The blanket is dark grey with a soft and slightly fluffy top side.]

Special Interest Gifts

This one is pretty obvious, but any autistic loved one would be over the moon any gifts related to their special interest. Everyone has different interests but mine is professional wrestling. Last year one of the presents my wife got me for Christmas was a Becky Lynch action figure after I saw one in a shop and posted a picture of it on Twitter. This went alongside the John Cena figure I already had, and since then I've added Tyler Breeze and Alexa Bliss to the small collection. I'd be more than happy with almost any wrestling-related gifts. The kid in me would love a replica Universal Championship belt, but they're far too expensive and we've got nowhere to put one so that's not going to happen.

[Image description: The photo of the Becky Lynch figure that I posted on Twitter. It's from the Elite Collection and is from before her "The Man" gimmick as she's wearing her steampunk gear in the form of a long, black coat and brown top hat with goggles and a feather attached to it.]

These are my 5 gift ideas that you could buy for your autistic loved one(s). With any luck it's been helpful and given you some inspiration if you've been stuck on what to buy for them. As always, don't forget to follow me by hitting the "Subscribe" button at the top of the page, or on Twitter @DepictDave. It helps me out a lot!

Stimming: Why I Chew

First of all, sorry for not posting last week. There was too much going on for me over the course of Friday and Saturday so I didn't have time to commit to blogging. But that kind of leads me nicely into what I want to talk about this week, which is why I stim by chewing.

Let me start by explaining what stimming is. The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as:
"The repetition of apparently purposeless movements as a pattern of behaviour seen mainly in persons with autism or other neurodevelopmental disorders" 

That's only the external, neurotypical point of view and doesn't explain the reasons behind it. The purpose of stimming is for self-regulation. Everybody stims in one way or another because we all need a certain degree of sensory input to be able to function. The difference in autistics is that we find that we have to create or seek the sensory input ourselves. This could be for various reasons depending on the individual, but for example they might need more input than a neurotypical person, or they might not respond as much to whatever stimuli is in their immediate environment as a neurotypical person would.

So one of the many things that kept me busy last weekend was that we thew a surprise 60th birthday party for my aunty. All the family was there, and as usual I wore my chewer which is a button necklace from Chewigem (you can check them out here). I was playing around with my kids to keep them entertained when my dad noticed my chewer around my neck and asked about it, so I explained what it is. He didn't say anything about it but his look and his tone were very disapproving. Thinking about it, I'm not sure what he disapproved of more - the chewer itself, or the fact that I said the words "I'm autistic" out loud in public. I'm fine with what happened because people are always going to have their own opinions however closed minded they are. It's just annoying that my dad shrugs his attitude and ignorance off about this and lots of other things as just "old fashioned".

I've been inclined towards chewing for a lot longer than I realised until recently. It's only when looking back the other day that I realised how long I've displayed a tendency to chew. The earliest I can remember was when I was in primary school. I can't remember what school year I was in, but at primary school age I must have been between 5 and 11 years old. I was sat in lesson next to a small bookcase and I must have had an urge to chew something because I found myself trying to chew the corner of this bookcase. The teacher noticed and said if I'm hungry it's not long till dinner time. I also used to bite my nails quite badly when I was younger and I think this was more for the chewing action than anything to do with my nails.

Over recent years I've found myself chewing my fingers whenever I've been stressed. That ended up ruining the skin on my fingers, which is why I then bought my first chewer from Chewigem at the start of this year once I discovered that you could buy things like this. We spent last Christmas at my in-laws' house, and because my wife's got such a big family there were too many people there for me, there was too much going on and it was too loud in parts so I found myself later on in the day sat in the conservatory away from everyone else and biting my index finger to shreds. This is what finally prompted me to have a look online and see what I could find in terms of adult human chew toys, and once I got my first chewer it really saved my fingers. Going back to the situation with my dad, my wife tried to explain about my fingers to him as well, but it still didn't make any difference.

I really like Chewigem as a sensory shop but there are lots of others that were suggested to me when I asked around online in the hunt for my first chewer. I've only ever used Chewigem so far so I can't comment any any others, but it's always worth searching online and most stores who sell this kind of thing seem to have an eBay and/or Amazon store that you can find easily. The problem I've got with chew toys (which isn't even an issue with the actual toys) is that I'm a much heavier chewer than I first realised so it's not as long before my chewers get damaged as it would be for other people. My first chew toy was a hand fidget (pictured below), which isn't as durable as I need it to be so I soon ended up chewing right through it and having to get the button necklace that I've got now. Even that's starting to wear down now but it's taken much longer to damage this than it took to damage the hand fidget. That would be my advice if you're looking for a chew toy for yourself; be aware of what kind of chewer you are (light, heavy etc) and make sure you check each toy for its flexibility, durability and firmness which are all displayed clearly on the product page for every item from Chewigem.

[Image description: Me chewing my hand fidget with a thoughtful expression on my face. My hand fidget is a small, circular silicone toy with a black, grey and white camouflage pattern, and it has a bar in the middle which holds a black ball intended for spinning and fidgeting with. I'm holding one end with my hand while chewing the other end.]