Washing A Weighted Blanket

A lot of autistics - myself included - love weighted blankets. They're not only good for autistics from a sensory point of view, but they're also good for any mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. I always describe it to people as "a big, one-person hug" and I sleep under mine every night.

Obviously with me using it so much, and also with having 2 young kids around as well, it's bound to get dirty sooner or later. My daughter got mine dirty a while ago and it ended up sitting in the corner being unused for ages because I had no idea how to clean it. I eventually got round to finding out online how to clean it so I thought I'd explain how to do it here, as well as the mistakes I made so you don't repeat them.

First of all, weighted blankets do tend to be machine washable, although due to the weight of them it's best to hand wash them unless you've got access to an industrial washing machine. The same applies with tumble dryers.

Hand washing is simple. If you're washing the whole blanket you'll need a bathtub or something of a similar size to wash your blanket in. Regardless of how much of the blanket you want to clean you'll also need a mild detergent and somewhere to dry it. I'll explain the process here as though you're washing the whole blanket.

• The first thing to do is to fill your bathtub with enough lukewarm water to completely submerge your blanket, and add between half to a full cup of mild detergent depending on the size of your blanket. Strong chemicals, such as bleach for example, can damage your blanket so it's best to avoid them. Make sure the detergent is spread evenly by running your hand through the water.
• Put your blanket fully submerged in the water and gently clean it by kneading it. It's best to do it in sections so you know where you've cleaned and where you need to go next.
• Once you've cleaned it with soapy water, drain it all out of the bath and rinse the blanket all over with clean water, I used the shower rather than the bath tap as being able to move it freely made it a lot easier. Brush or swish the blanket with your hand to make sure all the soapy water has gone. Do this until the water from the blanket runs clean. When I cleaned mine the water coming from it was quite dark so it's easy to tell.
• Get rid of as much water as you can from the blanket, although in my experience you're not going to get rid of anywhere near all of it. Avoid wringing the blanket out like you would with most clothes as it can misshape the blanket. Instead it's best to fold it or roll it on top of itself and press on it to squeeze out the water. The tighter you roll it the better, although my blanket is too big to roll it effectively.
• The final stage is drying. You may need to think about where you've got the room to hang your blanket out to dry, which I found quite tricky. If it's the middle of summer and you have somewhere to hang it outside then it's easy enough but I had to get slightly creative with mine, which I'll go into shortly.

There are 2 mistakes that I made when I washed mine. The first one was that even though it was just a small area that my daughter got mucky I thought it was best to wash the entire blanket. I could have just washed the dirty area, which would have been a lot quicker and easier and I could have probably done it in the sink instead of the bath. The other mistake I made was that I assumed that I could just hang it up to dry on the kids' climbing frame in the garden overnight. The issue with that was that it was in winter and I underestimated how cold it'd be. My thinking was that even if the temperature doesn't dry it, it should still drip dry at least to a certain extent. I was wrong. I woke up in the morning to find it frozen solid. And yes, it was a stupid thing for me to do in the first place. After that I looked around in the house for where I could put it to dry next to a radiator. I ended up unfolding the decorating table on its side in the bedroom, and laying my blanket across it next to the radiator. I kept checking it every now and then and rotating it as it dried. So the lesson from that is plan ahead where and how you'll be able to dry it.

Hopefully this post has been useful as weighted blankets are quite popular among neurodivergents in general, not just autistics. If it's helped you or if it's been interesting please click Subscribe at the top of the page and follow me on social media. I'm @DepictDave on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and you can buy me a coffee at my Ko-Fi account here.

[Image description: Black and white outline image of a washing machine. The drum has water in it, and in the water is the text "10kg" as that's the weight of my blanket. Under the washing machine is "Autism" in rainbow colours and "Washing A Weighted Blanket" under that.]

Autism Myths

When thinking of autism most people will conjure up images of some sort of stereotype, quite often in the form of either Sheldon Cooper or Dustin Hoffman's Rain Man. While some autistics may have certain qualities and/or "super powers" reminiscent of these stereotypes, autistics are much more than just the visible traits seen in the media.

Fellow autism advocate Christa Holmans (Neurodivergent Rebel on YouTube) did a short series of "You can't be autistic because..." videos on her channel that addressed some myths around what people think autism is/isn't. Just because I think she's bloody brilliant I'm going to use one of the myths that she busted as an example for this post. In one particular video she addressed the myth that "You can't be autistic because you have empathy." While some autistics do lack empathy (I do struggle with empathy unless it relates to someone I know and/or care about) the majority of us find that we either have too much empathy, or we just don't know how to show it even though we're feeling empathy. These could result in any number of outward responses depending on the person. Some may be overwhelmed by their empathy, some may not show any outwards signs because they don't know how to, and for others like me it varies depending on the person or situation. For me, even if I do feel a lot of empathy I don't really know what to do with it. If it's my wife who's feeling upset for example, I'll cuddle her and try to talk to her even though I don't know what to say. I don't think I'm empathetic to most people, and overall I'm more empathetic towards animals than people.

Judging by my dad's reaction to me getting assessed for autism I think the reason he's not convinced is because all he can see is the stereotype that we're all severely handicapped and dependent on full time care. Our needs are many and varied, and each person's needs are different from each other. In my case, I've been holding down a full time job for 9 years until recent weeks (I'm still working but had to go part time due to unrelated circumstances), I'm happily married, I'm a dad of 2, I drive, I do a lot of other things that a stereotypical view of autism wouldn't allow. I'm hardly handicapped. And while I admittedly think I'd struggle to live fully independently I'm independent enough to do all of the things above. There are definitely things I struggle with such as dealing with finances and remembering self-care aspects if my routine has been disturbed but I'm far, far from the image that my dad has of autism.

There are misconceptions that we all have "super powers" in the vein of Rain Man who is able to instantly count the number of toothpicks being dropped. Some people do have intense skills not usually seen in neurotypicals, but not all of us do. I remember seeing something online a few years ago about an autistic artist who accurately drew the New York skyline purely from memory. In contrast I've got no intense skills that I know of, just a determined mindset when I'm trying to do something that sees me putting more effort in to achieve an outcome than neurotypicals would. When I used to go to the gym a lot in my early 20's my personal trainer told me I was one of the hardest workers in the entire gym. At work my team leader has got me involved in a project analysing the team stats because I like analysing figures and if I'm stuck I'll either keep working at it or ask for help from someone who knows what they're doing. It's this determination that gets me to where I want to be. In fairness, people with extreme skills might rely on determination like this a lot more than it seems from an outside perspective, but it could be a mix of society's view of autism as well as unseen internal effort that makes it look more natural and easy than it is.

People often don't consider that if somebody doesn't show any physical signs of disability it doesn't mean they're not disabled. Disabilities can also be mental/emotional, and regardless of whether it's physical or mental, a lot of disabilities can fluctuate meaning some days they're bad and some days they're not. Autism is referred to as the invisible disability for a reason and is legally considered a disability in the UK, although some autistics might not consider themselves disabled depending on how much it affects them in daily life. Things like sunflower lanyards are great for highlighting when somebody might have hidden struggles or need extra support while in a public space. In fact, I was recently on holiday at Butlins with the wife and kids, and when we were in the club one night for one of the shows there was a young boy at the table next to us with a sunflower lanyard. I did wonder if he was autistic but there are lots of other possibilities that it could be. Either way, I don't like to ask people if they're autistic - I let them approach me about it when they notice my "This is what autism looks like" hoodie, which has happened a couple of times recently.

These are just a few examples of the myths and stereotypes that surround autism, although there are many more. If this post has been interesting and you'd like to see more please click Subscribe at the top of the page and follow me on social media. I'm @DepictDave on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and you can buy me a coffee at my Ko-Fi account here.

[Image description: Question marks on a white background. The middle one is the biggest and is in rainbow colours to represent autism. The others are black, various sizes and scattered around the image. At the bottom of the image is the word "Autism" in rainbow colours and "Myths" directly under it in black.]

Guest Post: Am I Autistic?

This week is my blog's very first guest post, so it's something I've been excited about sharing. It's by my online friend Kayleigh Hyland of Kayleigh And Her Friends. Kayleigh focuses on a range of subjects, most notably body positivity and sharing inspirational and positive stories from many others who she meets online. You can check out her own blog here, and also find her on Twitter and Instagram as kayleighann88 and kayleighandherfriends respectively. Of course you can find me in all the usual places online, but this post isn't about me so without further ado, I'll let Kayleigh take it away:

Am I Autistic?

I’ve asked myself this question since I found out what Autism was. There are traits that I see in myself which mirror the traits that put you on ‘The spectrum’.

I struggle with breaking routine and like things to have an order, I also have anxious and obsessive compulsive behaviours. Though in themselves these disorders are not typical of people with Autism, they are more common than in the average person. I can also struggle to concentrate when there is a lot going on at the same time and if I’m into something, like a TV program for example, I will talk/think about it a lot until I replace it with something else.

However, I do not struggle with social cues, in fact I have a better understanding of body language than most people.

I maintain good eye contact and I can differentiate between when someone is being ironic and when they are serious.

I think this is why there is a spectrum as a lot of us will find that we relate to a number of the behaviours even though we are not diagnosed as Autistic.

x

Head Canon: Is Everest Autistic?

Everybody has fictional characters that they feel a connection to and find that they relate to a lot more than others. Sometimes a character is written and/or portrayed in a certain way that is deemed by fans to be an indicator (whether deliberate or not) of certain attributes such as autism for example. There are a number of characters that autistics seem to widely relate to, and of course some that only a few relate to. While it's not a game that I've ever played there's a character called Symmetra from Overwatch who many fans had speculated was autistic. The creators of the game later confirmed that the speculation is correct and that Symmetra is indeed autistic.

As a dad of 2 I don't have a lot of time to watch TV, but one of the things we do watch a lot of is Paw Patrol. I could absolutely be either right or wrong here, but I've got a theory that if any members of the Paw Patrol are autistic it's Everest. For anybody unfamiliar with Paw Patrol, Everest is the Siberian Husky who is an expert in mountain/snow and ice missions. She's always been my favourite of the pups but I've always put it down to her being a Husky, which is a breed I've always liked because of their wolf-like appearance. But recently I've started to wonder if there's more to it and I've noticed that she has a few traits that could be considered autistic. Admittedly spotting these traits is a bit difficult because she's not one of the 6 main/original pups so she's not in too many episodes, but here are the few that I've spotted without deliberately going through each of her appearances with a fine-toothed comb.

She doesn't seem to understand metaphors and non-standard speech. The first example comes in her first episode The New Pup where she joins the Paw Patrol after meeting and looking after Jake while he's stranded in the Antarctic. At one point Jake tells Everest that she rocks, to which her response is to assume that it's a good thing and then starts singing "I rock! I rock! I rock!" before she pauses to ask "Wait, what kind of rock am I?" Jake tells her he'll explain on the way to her igloo, which he presumably does because at the very end of the episode she tells the rest of the pups that "Paw Patrol rocks!" There's another episode, Pups & A Whale Of A Tale, where she's confused by Captain Turbot (who regularly - and annoyingly - speaks in alliteration) when he explains that there's a baby whale separated from it's mum under the ice. She gets the gist of it as she repeats it in simple terms but she does that to check she's understanding him right, whereas most of the time everyone else understands him straight away.

Going back to her debut episode The New Pup, Everest indicates at least a couple of times that she loves rescuing people. To be honest I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something about it that comes across to me as an autistic special interest. It may just be the number of times she mentions it in the episode, but it's worth mentioning when considering if she's autistic.

In the episode Pups Get Skunked, Everest is actually the only pup who gets "skunked" when a skunk sprays her in the face causing her to stink, which repulses the rest of the Paw Patrol. This one is particularly relatable for me because my sense of smell is hyposensitive (meaning it's weaker than most people's sense of smell). Everest seems to have a similar hyposensitivity because she doesn't think it smells much and can't understand why the rest of the pups are behaving the way they are. Similarly, she doesn't seem to be sensitive to the cold at all but that could just be because of where she lived for presumably all of her life until she met Jake, and also because of her breed she's designed to withstand the cold with a big fluffy coat.

Speaking of Jake, the 2 of them live together in a cabin near the mountain, away from the rest of the Paw Patrol. Previously to that she was living on her own in an igloo in the Antarctic. This screams autism to me because most autistics have such a lack of social interest and prefer living either alone or just with someone who they're very, very close to like Jake is to Everest. As far as I know it's not clear what happened to Everest's family, or why she was living alone prior to meeting Jake, but it's definitely food for thought when looking from a neurodiversity point of view.

The final thing I noticed is in the episode The Pups' Winter Wonder Show. Everest is driving with Tracker during a blizzard when Tracker asks how she can see where she's going. Everest replies with "I can get around Adventure Bay blindfolded." This comes across as an autism sign to me because she met the Paw Patrol in series 2, and The Pups' Winter Wonder Show was only in series 3. Add that to the fact that she's been spending the majority of her time in Jake's cabin away from Adventure Bay and it makes me wonder if she's some form of savant with the ability to rapidly memorise maps or routes. I once saw a video online a few years ago where an autistic artist took a single helicopter flight around New York and then was able to accurately draw the skyline completely from memory. I think Everest being able to navigate around Adventure Bay without seeing where she's going may be a similar thing.

Those are all of my reasons for suspecting that Everest is autistic, and if I'm honest it actually makes a lot more sense written down than it did in my head! Next time you're watching your favourite shows, playing your favourite games or reading your favourite books, why not see if you can spot any undertones in your favourite characters? It doesn't even have to be autism - it can be anything! If this post has been interesting for you please click Subscribe at the top of the page and follow me on social media. I'm @DepictDave on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and you can buy me a coffee at my Ko-Fi account here.

[Image description: A black silhouette of a head with a white silhouette of a cannon in the brain area. Under the head silhouette are the words "Autism Had Canon" with "Autsim" in rainbow colours and "Head Canon" in black.]

Survey Results

Thanks to all who took part in my autism survey during World Autism Awareness Week! There were 21 responses to it, which isn't as many as I'd hoped for but the results were interesting and I'm pleased to report them here in this post for you. Just as a reminder, these were the questions:

1. Age
2. Gender
3. Are you/anyone you know autistic?
4. If yes, who?
5. What is your understanding of autism?
6. Is autism a disability?
7. Which of these terms are you familiar with? (there were several options including stimming, meltdown, alexithymia etc.)
8. Is there anything that you think autistic people can't do?
9. Is there anything that you think autistic please can do better than others?
10. What autism stereotypes are you aware of?

One of the most interesting things I've noticed from it is that all but 1 answered yes to being/knowing someone who is autistic. The first thing that this implied to me is that people don't seem to care or have any interest in autism unless they're either autistic themselves or have some involvement with autistic people such as family members, school pupils and so on. This is what we need to work on because if the general population aren't interested in autism they're going to know nothing about it other than maybe the common myths and misconceptions. In turn, if society doesn't know anything about autism it doesn't bode well for autism acceptance and creates an environment where autistics have to mask too much, suppress their stims and continue to live in a social environment that's very exclusive of us. Needless to say, that's what I and many others are working to change with blogs, vlogs, conferences, activism and everything else we do.

Age-wise, a third of the people surveyed are 18-25, another third are 30-50, and the other third (other than 1 participant) were under 18. Nobody over 50 took the survey. There were a couple of interesting points that the age of the participants showed me. Firstly, the lack of 25-30 year-olds which I don't understand what it means (if it means anything at all), but it's just interesting because it was unexpected. The other thing that's interesting is that there were no over 50's and there were more under 18's than I expected. I like to think that's an indication that times are changing, and despite the last paragraph it's showing that we are moving in the right direction - or at least beginning to. Speaking of things moving in the right direction, most of the participants answered that they're female. That could be an indication that autism in women is starting to be more recognised and understood, whereas previously it was thought to be an almost exclusively male condition.

Out of the people who answered yes to either themselves or somebody they know being autistic, 62% said it was themselves. 29% (including some of the 62%) said it was members of their family, which shows that there is definitely a genetic and probably a hereditary element to autism as I expected. It wouldn't surprise me if some of the others had autistic family members without realising it, just like I wouldn't be surprised if either or both of my parents are autistic. Some of the other answers include friends, neighbours and children they work with.

For the question asking what their understanding of autism is the answers were pretty much spot on with reality, which is to be expected given that most of the participants are autistic themselves. I was hoping for more non-autistic responses to give a more rounded picture of how society sees autism, but I am pleased that those who did take part have a good understanding of it as it can be difficult even for us autistics to understand. Most of the answers centered around it being a difference or a condition rather than a disability. It absolutely can be a disability, but everyone is different so not necessarily. The answer that stood out to me was that it's a condition that results in slowed learning but doesn't make the person any different. It's not a wrong answer, but because it's a broad spectrum there is more to it than our learning necessarily being slowed. Some might be unusually quick learners (a former team leader of mine at work used so compare me to a sponge because I take everything in), some might be slow, some might just be affected by any comorbid conditions they have, or any number of other factors. There are a couple of answers that used different wordings than I would have used and some that referred to stereotypes but nothing that was inaccurate because most stereotypes have at least some autistic people that relate to them.

For the next question "Is autism a disability?" a strong 62% answered yes, which is interesting because it's certainly classed as a disability by legal definition here in the UK, and is commonly referred to as the invisible disability. With that said, I personally both agree and disagree with it being a disability. My view of it is that autism in itself isn't a disability, but it can certainly cause disabilities based on the varied ways that it affects each individual. More people said they don't know if it's a disability than those saying no, which I'm surprised at as I thought it would mostly be a black and white yes/no scenario.

Where I asked what autism-related terms people are familiar with it was a pretty well rounded response with nothing getting less than 76% - that is with the exception of alexithymia at just 52%. I expected it to have one of the lowest percentages because it's only in the last year or 2 that I myself discovered that alexithymia. If I'm honest, that discovery was probably the biggest "ah-ha!" moment for me but I've already done a post about that a while ago if you want to read more. Meltdown scored 100% which isn't surprising. I would have expected neurodiversity to not score as high as it did (95%) if it wasn't for the participants being mostly autistic themselves.

The next question was whether there's anything that the participants believe autistic people can't do. The answers were pleasantly similar here to the understanding of autism question in that they're pretty realistic and positive. There was a solid understanding that every autistic is individual with their own set of skills, strengths and weaknesses so there's nothing that just the fact that they're autistic means they can't do. Again, there were some stereotypes but I think for the most part these are based on issues that the particular person faces rather than autistics as a whole.

It was the same kind of response for the question about things that autistic people can do better than others - mostly realistic, positive and that it varies from person to person. What I like about the answers to this question though is how much it portrays autism as a strength. There were things like becoming experts/specialists in their special interests, strong sense of logic, and a few other things that I'm not sure whether to class as stereotypes or just extremely common traits that a lot of us share such as being direct and to the point. But overall they do agree that it's different for each person and that whatever each person's traits are it doesn't make them defective or broken.

The final question asked what stereotypes the participants are aware of. The biggest thing I noticed from this was an extension of a stereotype I was already aware of, which is that autism only affects white males and mostly children. What I didn't know was this this stereotype also extends to sexual preferences and gender identities. Apparently the stereotype is that those white males also have to be straight and cisgender. Of course in reality autistic people are as diverse as everyone else in race, skin colour, gender, sexuality, age and everything else. The other most common answers are that we're stereotypically rude, selfish, good at maths and bad at empathy. We're not rude, selfish, badly behaved or any of that. Well, some of us can be but just in the same way that some neurotypicals can be rude, selfish and badly behaved while others aren't. That's not an autistic thing but we're landed with the stereotype anyway. My understanding was that we're meant to be good at computing and science rather than good at maths but I suppose there's links between maths and science. Empathy is another big one. Some autistics aren't good at empathy (myself included), whereas others have lots and lots of empathy but their either considered weird when they show it or they just may not know how to show it.

So that's a brief analysis of the survey results. Thanks again to everyone who took part! Although there was a distinct lack of non-autistic input which wouldn't have been the case had my original plan gone ahead (bloody Coronavirus!), I'm pleased that the answers I did get showed a good understanding of autism. If this has been as interesting for you as it has for me please click Subscribe at the top of the page and follow me on social media. I'm @DepictDave on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and you can buy me a coffee at my Ko-Fi account here.